My due date is two weeks away and although my previous four were all complication free home births, nothing is guaranteed. So I will reminisce before anything has time to go pear shaped. Apart from me. I’ve gone pear shaped.
Expecting Connie I was frightened of pain and embarrassment, now I know it’s the psychological battle which is toughest. Labouring lying down I feel assaulted, hopeless, a desperate victim of endless blows. Standing up I feel better, in control and on top. Even then, near the end, the contractions are a vice not just on my stomach but my mind. It cranks up anxiety and if I don’t take time to soothe myself the fear builds towards panic. Thankfully Garry is very good at counting down the time “Your nearly done, just 20 seconds to go “. But in the end it’s battle no one can fight for you. You have to keep telling yourself that you’re doing great, you’re getting through it, it will soon be over, you will soon meet your baby.