Before my Emergency Transfer to Hospital for a Combined Cesarean/Hysterectomy/Kidney Transplant

My due date is two weeks away and although my previous four were all complication free home births, nothing is guaranteed. So I will reminisce before anything has time to go pear shaped. Apart from me. I’ve gone pear shaped.

Expecting Connie I was frightened of pain and embarrassment, now I know it’s the psychological battle which is toughest. Labouring lying down I feel assaulted, hopeless, a desperate victim of endless blows. Standing up I feel better, in control and on top. Even then, near the end, the contractions are a vice not just on my stomach but my mind. It cranks up anxiety and if I don’t take time to soothe myself the fear builds towards panic. Thankfully Garry is very good at counting down the time “Your nearly done, just 20 seconds to go “. But in the end it’s battle no one can fight for you. You have to keep telling yourself that you’re doing great, you’re getting through it, it will soon be over, you will soon meet your baby.

 

The Surprising Upside

The benefits of learning to read early are effortlessly apparent. It’s a powerful thing to be able to edify and entertain yourself. The merits of late learning are less obvious, perhaps invisible if you are in a literacy heavy school system.

Patience is eight, she has a good grasp of how reading works but she is far from fluent. To compensate she has developed heightened focus and discernment. Sometimes she sits still with her gaze fixed on the speaker, sometimes her eyes are down as her hands fiddle in her lap. A question is asked and she springs up with a pertinent phrase plucked from the reading or a reflection on how she sees the subject in her own life. The ideas are complex, her comments mature.

I asked her how she does it. She says as she listens she picks out words she thinks there might be questions on and she tries to remember them.

By comparison my brain seems sluggish, slumped on the print, never having to stand on it’s own.

Invites Your Own Story

Tabitha Soren has taken photos of people running. We don’t know the pistol shot that started things. We don’t know if it ends well or badly for the runner.

Feuille for Free

Beech leaves are edible, citrusy. Mature leaves are toughened tongue slicers but the downy baby leaves are as weightless and silky as an acid green parachute.

The Ethereal Exception

I usually struggle with installations, things that look assembled rather than created. Brian Sewell once complained of the lack of “ascetic lift”.

Witness the Wunderkammer.

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Fire Breathing Life Lessons

Took tots to the circus, the yin to television’s yang. No “If you need me, I’ll be in the winnebago drinking champagne with my reflexologist” for these guys. Albert (winner of “Russia’s got Talent”) has an impressive balancing act but is also the interval photographer. Antonio Candela eats fire and works the box office. Everybody helps out everybody else.

Some of the team are young, slim and beautiful but others are older, average looking and carrying an extra pound or two.

Instead of a product ruthlessly filtered down to synthetic perfection, you get baited breath reality. At times a ball would be dropped, but it would be picked up and the trick tried again. I’m happy for the children to see talented people not being perfect, seeing that being great at something takes perseverance and humility.

Something to drink whilst you’re ringing out your bobble hat.

Several water authorities announced drought conditions and imposed hosepipe bans. Like a spell, this has presaged in daily downpours of monsoon intensity. Time for “Anna Rock Punch”. Ukrainian Anna wore her immaculately coiffered grey waves pinned up. She embroidered her own exquisite folk blouses, smiled all the time and made interesting things to eat.

She put a rose hip tea bag in a cup with a spoon of honey and a small splash of cider/wine vinegar. She poured on boiling water and stirred. It’s so easy and so comforting, I make it when I want to cosset myself but can’t be bother to grind beans and rinse out cafetieres.

Never ring out a woollen bobble hat. Blot with a towel and reshape flat.